In the future we'll all be gay
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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