what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
