People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
