it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize