If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
