All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
