So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
