I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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