when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
