you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
