doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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