I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
