I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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