I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
