Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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