Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
