ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Alive.
So much puke
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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