I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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