if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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