Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i think i just lost a toe
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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