They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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