Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize