Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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