Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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