cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize