I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
