I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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