My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize