Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
