1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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