We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize