Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
