Porn is love you can see.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
