I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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