Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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