She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
