i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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