BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
