having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
