My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
