I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
