I'm going to jail i love you
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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