Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?