Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.