"it" just moved
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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