i just google imaged poop.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
