Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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