oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
