Ambien. No doubt about it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i love accidental penises.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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