I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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