We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
