Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
