we're blogging at a bar
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
