those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
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