HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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