this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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