Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
