when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
